saved my life

Mon, Apr 30, 2012 at 7:12 AM

I am just new to this site. I signed up today so i could specifically send a message out to authentic Nickelback people. Two days ago I say the video 'Lullaby' on vh1. I happened to be up early, and realized videos were actually on, and sat down to watch. I saw the video for the first time, liked it, looked it up on youTube, and favorited it.

Before I continue, let me explain.........I am 43 years old. My three children are grown and pay no attention to me unless they need something, I was nearly killed 12 years ago by my ex-boyfriend and I still live in fear, I am a "cutter" and have been hospitalized over 20 times in a mental health facility over the last 10 years. I have overdosed almost fatally 15 times, 6 of which no one else knows about because i didn't go to the hospital or didn't come to until 4 or 5 days later. Now I am going through therapy, trying to be normal, and I gotta's quite a fight. So I relapsed, got drunk, got stupid, woke the next day to intense shame, and cut my arm up- deep. I have been feeling the need to be punished ever since, and today was the worst.....and then I saw your video.

So I am sitting on my couch feeling defeated...I mean, how long can one person live like this? really?-.....and your video came on. I was laready crying, and I wasn't paying attention at first. I was just kinda sobbing and I leaned my head forward and closed my eyes to just cry, when the words to your song suddenly became very clear and personal.

And I cried, but this time it was because it felt like someone actually understood. I wasn't alone.....and whether God had a hand in that, I don't know......but your song saved my life.
In all these years, YOUR song is the only one that has ever specifically 'spoken' to me, on a very personal level. You didn't just catch the essence of a basic caught MY emotion, and I don't know if I can ever truly express just how much that means to me. I was on a slippery slope to self-destruction again, this time for good, and your song caught me just in time.

I have to be honest and admit I wasn't a faithful fan before this. I didn't dislike your music......I just didn't pay much attention. Even musicians I do faithfully follow haven't done what you have. Your song means everything in the world to's what I anchor to, now, to help keep me grounded.

Really, thank you is so inadequate, but it's all I have.

And I will always be a faithful fan.


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