Originally posted January 27, 2010. Since that time, they've installed the audible signal, one more sign of God's protection. No, I wasn't part of that city council process!
January 26, 2010 Well, for anyone who's read my prior entries, this simply continues my further adventures in learning to be alone and what life constantly teaches me.One of the results of being alone, at least in my case, is a sometimes lazy attitude toward cooking anything. I used to dream of sharpening my skills to the utmost, and I still do, whenever it involves the possibility of sharing it with others, as in inviting people over. But when it's just for myself, it's easy to become lax. Not that I don't care about myself--it's simply not as fun to me. Such was my state of mind on January 12th when I threw some meat and broccoli that I'd brought back from my parents' into the rice cooker to steam. I wasn't planning to add rice, but I changed my mind. My better judgment told me I better pour off some of the water, but the I-don't-care streak kicked in, and I left all the water in the pot. When the rice-cooking cycle ended, I opened the lid to discover something that resembled ... risotto? NOT! I guess it might have been if I'd added the appropriate herbs and something other than water. Oh well, the seasoned cooks can have a good laugh. Part of my thinking was that I knew I'd be leaving on Friday for three days and I didn't want to bother making anything else each night. So you know what they say: If you make the bed, you lie in it. So I was stuck with this crud for dinner for a good while! Did anyone hear my dear husband Ray laughing from Heaven? I never claimed to be a star chef like him. Oh well, maybe someday I'll learn. That was the funny one.
My next "adventure" occurred this morning. You might say the four-hour-a-night sleep pattern finally took its toll. I snapped off my alarm, promptly fell back asleep, and didn't awake again untill 6:14, the time when I'd normally already catch the bus. Needless to say, I missed that completely! To put this in perspective, I catch one bus, the # 40, to avoid crossing West Capitol and Jefferson at that time, because in my opinion, there's just enough traffic to be dangerous but not enough to give a definite audible cue, and that corner has no audible traffic signal. Never mind the fact that they've been digging up that corner for over a year and it's a maddening cone zone! So I've managed to avoid it at all costs ever since Ray died in 2008. But what was I gonna do now? I could blow a wad and call a cab, therefore avoiding that crossing at even more cost! Or I could go for it. Did I trust the Lord for protection? Please don't get me wrong. I've traveled for years. It's not as if I'm a beginner in this respect, unlike the cooking. But just as I lost a measure of confidence when my first marriage failed disastrously, so I believe it happens when you lose your soul mate, your child, or otherwise experience a crisis. Now I faced the crossroad, and I didn't have much time to decide. Two lines came to mind just then. One, ONCE AGAIN, came from a Nickelback song, "If Today Was Your Last Day". "Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind". Then, even more importantly, I remembered this Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7 7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. So I forged on and made it across both streets, reaching the other side of the cone maze just as the light turned red. Taking an alternate route, I arrived at work on time, and no one would have been any wiser if I hadn't told them. Small victory, granted, but I realized how significant it was emotionally. It still won't be my preferred routine, but in a pinch, I know I'll do it. God's protection always shows when I'm low on faith. As I waited to cross Jefferson, there was barely any traffic to give a cue, but just then someone came across and told me it was time to go. I also know the Lord went with me as I went through the cones, even as traffic began to move against me.
I view it as sort of an emotional and spiritual boot camp. If some forecasters turn out to be correct, things may get a lot worse--economically speaking--before they get better. I suppose I wouldn't want to be waiting until the huge tests come to find out of what material I'm made! I hope no one else reading this will wait that long, either.